“God Chose Not to Bless Us”

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The other day I ran into a friend, in the middle of a public setting, and a comment was said for which I did not respond. Not because I didn’t want to, not because I didn’t hear it, and not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t know how to have that conversation under an umbrella, at a football game, in the middle of a mingle. The comment was heavy, deep, personal and highly influential in how my friend perceives God.

The comment from a painstaking journey of grief and loss was capsulated in one statement, “God chose not to bless us.”

I am not sure what I did in that moment. I think I held eye contact, trying to demonstrate how deeply I cared, while trying not to allow the outside of me to demonstrate what was happening inside me. I have not specifically walked the path these friends have walked. What right do I have to respond? But then, it’s *my God* for which they are referencing a pretty intense accusation or maybe even a statement of fact from their interpretation and I want to be physically sick, in that moment. I feel the deep pain of that statement, wondering how I respond, how they have fully landed on that conclusion, and if what they believe is really the truth of our mutual faith.

Are they really going to pound their stake into this hard ground?

All I think about is how I feel like I’m the wrong person, for the life in front of me, but God is making me the right person. If He can address my belief, I’m confident He can run head-on to their belief, in spite of the long, treacherous path their circumstance has called them to walk.

Does God saying ‘No’ constitute as a non-blessing? I look up the definition.

Blessing = God’s favor and protection

And then to the opposite of blessing, which drops a long list, including two extremely painful words: rejection and refusal.

Wow, no wonder they feel “God chose not to bless us,” as the answers to their prayers have been ‘refusal’ which most certainly must feel like ‘rejection.’

What if there is more? More for my friends and more for all the people struggling with some big ask, the deepest heart desire, the perceived right answer which constantly ends with another ‘no.’

My friend had the courage to voice what I believe thousands of people feel. What is our role in responding to a heart level cry?

I think about Job’s friends, during the front days of their visit, when they got it right with the gift of presence. Did my presence, standing there, get it right?

Or was my friend waiting for me to speak life, hope or peace over obvious loneliness, brokenness and disappointment?

What if ‘no’ is not actually synonymous for rejection? What if ‘no’ is God choosing to bless us? What if God’s favor and protection is giving us the opposite of what we want?

I’m pretty sure every scripture I could have shared would have felt like empty platitudes to the moment. I felt a deep urge to love. To love outside my capacity, outside my line of thinking, and outside the confounds of my belief system. I don’t need to figure out the truth of the statement to process the sorrow behind the statement.

And what I know about God’s love for me is He meets me in my pain. He comforts me. He sustains me. My pain looks different, but pain is not isolating, it’s universal. We all know what ‘no’ feels like and loneliness, rejection, fear, frustration, discouragement, anger. No one is on an island.

If we went on a debate of blessing, we could all say God blessed me here, but not there. But in the context of blessing, do we not immediately think of what we get versus what we don’t get?

God is bigger than a “get.” God’s blessing is bigger than a “got.”

In the same conversation, my friend explained the gift of knowing Jesus from a young age and how their faith in God had sustained them through the continued path of pain. Identification of one of the greatest blessings, our eternal salvation, was brought forth in the very discussion of a firm thinking of “God chose not to bless us.”

What if blessing is different than we perceive from our finite minds? What if the very statement of “God chose not to bless us,” is a limited thinking of who He is, His ultimate purpose for our life, and His protection over what we cannot see.

My life has given hard hits too, ways where I could similarly communicate, “God chose not to bless us,” but through God’s grace upon grace, He has held me with the blessing of hope, endurance, and courage.

He is giving me eyes to see the greater story, in spite of public opinion, research, or a million different perspectives. And I want all my friends to see past the limitations of a Sunday service, a small group, a counseling session, or a nature hike. Though all may play a role in encouraging us, nothing solely defines us, except the intimacy of a daily encounter with Jesus. Jesus meets us in the middle of our thinking, no matter if it’s aligning to Him or off base.

Pain and grief develop courage. For me, courage has been a necessary attribute I’ve needed to survive my life which makes my brain understand the blessing. The blessing of hurt makes me want to meet someone where they are because I know where I’ve been.

If I could have found my words, I would have told my friend, “here, let me squat down in this wet dirt, and hold your stake, while you pound the mess out of it, of what you feel right now, and let’s get the stake firmly in the ground. Then, you come back to this stake, alone, and meet with Jesus about your belief. You’ve been vulnerable and you’ve acknowledged it, owned it and claimed it. Go there with Jesus as nothing is too big for Him. If it’s valid, He will help you shore it up, and if it’s wrong, He will help you pull it up. But right now, let me hold your pain with you.”

No thinking is too hard for Jesus.

How the ‘wrong’ person’s yes led to successful community ministry

This article is sourced from the Alabama Baptist website. To view the original article, click here.

Sometimes the results of resting produce more than being productive.

Jenny Waltman, CEO/founder and director of the board of Grace Klein Community in Hoover, president of Grace Klein Construction and an author, learned this when she took six weeks out of her busy life to rest at a partner missions base in Africa. She spent the first three weeks “reading multiple books a day and hanging out with Jesus.”

Photo by Tracy Riggs/The Alabama Baptist
Her new book, “God Chose the Wrong Person: Surrendering to His Plan, Not Mine,” flowed from that rest.

“God gave the download, and I wrote the book in three weeks. It was amazing,” Waltman recalled. “My colleague, our director of development, was with me for a portion of the time, and she said it sounded like a symphony as the computer keys made ‘music.’

“As I prayed, each chapter would come to me. God does choose all the wrong people. If you read through the Bible, all the wrong people were chosen by God so He could make them the right people — so He would get the glory.”

Variety of roles

Waltman considers herself one of those “wrong people” for almost every role she’s had in life.

  • She became a fire claims adjuster, a job that required more physical strength than her size and stature suggested.
  • She never felt comfortable around kids but had two.
  • She became a bookkeeper when math was her worst subject.
  • She started a construction company, making her mark in a traditionally male-dominated field.

Then she saw a need to feed hungry people.

As that ministry grew, a friend suggested she file the paperwork to make it a nonprofit. She had no idea how to start or run a nonprofit.

But she knew God did.

In 2021 the ministry rescued more than 1 million pounds of food to provide 150,000-plus food boxes and 885,000-plus meals to the hungry. Grace Klein Community was included on the sustainability team for the World Games, held in Birmingham July 7–17.

“That wouldn’t have ever been on my radar,” Waltman admitted. “I would have said, ‘I couldn’t do that!’ But the ‘yes’ of obedience stacks and so you look back and turn around and realize, ‘Oh, that’s my life!’ All those yeses smushed together into something beautiful because I obeyed God.

“Sometimes if He showed us what was going to happen in 20 years, we would think that we couldn’t do it. But that’s the point. We can’t,” Waltman declared. “All God needs is today’s ‘Yes’ and He will do the rest.”

Encouraging others

“God Chose the Wrong Person” contains biblical principles and how Waltman strives to live them. Candid about her struggles and times she knew she was the “wrong person,” she writes about how God showed His glory through transforming her into the right person.

One of her main goals is to encourage others who feel inadequate.

“It’s okay to feel like the wrong person,” Waltman asserted. “It’s scary and dangerous if you feel like the right person because then you’re doing it in your strength and your capacity and what you can do.

“God’s capacity is so much bigger, so much grander, with so much more adventure — because we only see like a little tiny box of what we think we can accomplish in our finite selves. But He’s infinite, and He can use us to do things we would never believe we could do until we courageously say ‘yes.’”

Conduit for help

By choosing the “wrong person,” God has taken food that would have been thrown away to feed hungry people. He also has taken rescued flowers and fruit to give to those who need encouragement or as an outreach for volunteers to love their neighbors.

He also created an organization that serves as a “conduit,” Waltman said, by helping those with excess to connect with needs, those with specific gifts and talents connect with services, and a means for those who want to feed the hungry.

“Love does. It acts,” she declared. “At Grace Klein Community we see diverse people working together and living an ‘others first’ lifestyle. When hundreds spend their free time rescuing food through FeedBHM, our food rescue initiative, or building food boxes and praying with every person who comes through our drive thru locations, there is no way to not feel love.”

Waltman said writing “God Chose the Wrong Person” wasn’t simply to encourage others — she also has learned from it.

“I am in over my head and way past my own strength or capacity,” she acknowledged. “Every day before I get out of bed, I pray and beg God to give me His strength as I’m an introvert in a world full of people. It’s not about me.

“I’m so thankful that He would allow me to write that book and to hopefully encourage one person or a hundred to find the craziness, the beauty and the ‘hurts so good’ of saying ‘Yes’ to Jesus.”

Meet the Woman Who’s Feeding Birmingham

This article is sourced from the Style Blueprint website. To view the original article, click here.

by JAVACIA HARRIS BOWSER

Since 2009, Jenny Waltman has been on a mission to feed Birmingham. Through the faith-based, non-profit organization, Grace Klein Community, Jenny and her team offer food for the belly and the soul. With the help of partners and volunteers, Grace Klein Community delivers food boxes to families in need. The organization helps provide food at shelters and to other groups supporting those who experience food insecurity.

Through its food rescue program, FeedBHM, Grace Klein Community takes fresh food that restaurants, grocery stores, or catering services would throw away and gives the food to families who need it.

Grace Klein Community feeds more than 44,000 Alabamians each month, which merely scratches the surface of the work Jenny’s organization does. Grace Klein Community has global partnerships, too, such as the group’s work with Kwathu Children’s Home in Livingstone, Zambia. Grace Klein helped teach a group of women in Zambia how to sew purses that they then sold to help support their families and a local school. We are honored to introduce our newest FACE of Birmingham, Jenny Waltman, founder of Grace Klein Community.

Meet our newest FACE of Birmingham, Jenny Waltman. She’s the founder and CEO of Grace Klein Community, an organization working to end food insecurity in Birmingham and beyond.

What inspired you to start Grace Klein Community?

In [The Book of] James, it says if you know the good you ought to do but don’t do it, then it’s a sin from you. We saw the need in our city and knew we had the sin omission. We were doing nothing about it. We prayed and asked God how to help the food insecure in our community. God gave us the idea to create food boxes, and then families in Birmingham could deliver them to people who were hungry around the community.

How does your organization seek to cultivate community?

Before COVID, we delivered food boxes to families all over the city who did not have transportation or were working multiple jobs and couldn’t get to us. Each family that delivered was assigned four to five families. Typically, they connected with at least one or two of the families in a deep, meaningful way — more than just “Here’s your food box.”

People were helping with tutoring, going out to dinner together, meeting at the park to play chess, studying the Bible together … They were becoming friends. Grace Klein Community has always been an amazing way for people to build relationships with each other, and food is just how we’re able to do it.

“Everyone should know what it feels like to hold boxes of good food in your lap, which we usurped from a trip to the landfill, to put on the plates of the food insecure in our community,” Jenny says. If you want to be a food rescue hero, sign up to volunteer with Grace Klein Community’s FeedBHM initiative at app.feedbhm.org.

Tell us more about Feed BHM.

After doing the food boxes, we realized that food was being thrown away — good food — at different locations around the city. So in 2013, we started our food rescue program. It is now called FeedBHM. We’re finding good food from produce companies, grocery stores, restaurants, and catered events. [The food is] still good — in the past, it was going to the landfill. Now, instead of filling landfills, we can fill plates.

Our app allows volunteers to help us retrieve all of this good food seven days a week, and the food rescue is handled 100 percent by volunteers. We have a small staff — maybe 14 people. Yet, because people are working together, we’re feeding over 44,000 people in a month.

Last year, we provided food to food insecure families in 40 of the 67 Alabama counties. That’s thanks to our food distribution partners who come and receive food from us.

What’s the meaning of the name Grace Klein?

Grace Klein means “little gift from God.” When you receive a food box with cucumbers, apples, fresh organic meat, bread, and a dairy product, that’s a little gift from God. But the big gift is Jesus, and we would love for people to realize Jesus never leaves you. He’s going to be there when the food is gone.

Grace Klein Community was the first organization honored on the field at Protective Stadium at the first UAB Blazers home game. Jenny was joined on the field by DonDee Osburn, Director of Operations for Grace Klein Community, and Natalie Spronk, Director of Development.

Tell us about the book you wrote.

It’s called God Chose the Wrong Person. I think a lot of us have felt like, God, you chose the wrong person. I’m not the right person for this task. That’s definitely how I felt about Grace Klein Community. I’m just this normal person. Why would You choose me to run this organization? I’m in over my head. Every morning I’m like, OK, God, you’ve got to do it because I can’t do this.

God’s been showing me — and it’s a universal message for all of us — that we can all feel like the wrong person. God chooses the “wrong” people because He wants to make us the right people.

That’s what the book is about. It’s helping people see that if you feel like you’re the wrong person, let God transform you because He’s making you the right person. He’s picked you. He’s chosen you from exactly where you are, and He has such a great plan for your life.

What do you like to do for fun when you’re not working?

I love to read and learn new things. I enjoy being outdoors, spending time at the lake or hiking with friends, and enjoying God’s creation.

My husband Jason and I love to have adventures, and we love Birmingham. There are so many free date nights in Birmingham. It’s so fun to tell people, “You can go to this art gallery for a night out, or you can go to this park for a festival.” Go to Botanical Gardens or Aldridge Gardens. We love to find all of the hidden secrets of Birmingham. Then we are able to give people ideas.

Just because you don’t have financial resources doesn’t mean there aren’t amazing adventures that await you in our city.

In 2021, Jenny and her husband Jason received the Learning for Life award from Samford University, which honors graduates of the school who exemplify leadership in their communities. Image: Samford University
“Our children, Amelia Grace and Denver, graduated high school in May 2022. We went to serve with Kwathu Children’s Home in Livingstone, Zambia, as their senior trip,” Jenny says. “They have grown up with the children who live in the home and consider them some of their best friends in the world.” Kwathu Children’s Home is one of Grace Klein Community’s global partners.

What are some of your favorite books?

Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. It’s fiction, and I usually don’t recommend fiction, but I think everyone should read it. It just is an awakening of “Do we really live what we say we value?”

Ian Cron’s Chasing Francis. It’s a great example of how what we do every day is what makes us shine. It’s not about whether or not we’re heroes. What some people consider the mundane is actually the most beautiful. It’s the little everyday moments of our lives that change the world.

What’s the best advice you have to offer?

Stay behind Jesus and let him receive the glory for your life. He’s got such a big, incredible plan for each of our lives; we can’t even fathom it. We don’t even think that big. So, if we can stay behind him, he will take us to places and adventures we would never have dreamed of.

He’s showing me a concept called “the compounding yes.” If we say “yes” to what he asks us to do today, then that “yes” builds on the next “yes” and the next “yes,” and when we look back, all of those yeses have accumulated to what we get to call our amazing life.

Other than faith, family, and friends, name three things you can’t live without.

Coffee, a good book, and a cozy blanket.

Thank you, Jenny!

Chelsea Council approves proclamations, hears about food ministry

This article is sourced from the Shelby County Reporter website. To view the original article, click here.

By NOAH WORTHAM | Staff Writer

CHELSEA –The Chelsea City Council approved a proclamation designating July 17 as Mark Lindsay III Day and heard from a representative of Grace Klein Community in Chelsea on Tuesday, Aug. 2.

Lindsay was a longtime resident of Chelsea, an active member of St. Catherine’s Episcopal Church and he served the city on the planning commission for more than a decade.

“Mark will always be remembered for his selflessness, his sense of humor, his kindness and compassionate nature that inspired and uplifted those around him,” Mayor Tony Picklesimer said, “The city of Chelsea is grateful to Mark for generously committing his time via decades of service to the city planning commission.”

The council approved a second proclamation declaring the month of September to be Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month.

“Gynecological cancers are among the leading cancer killers of women in the United States,” Picklesimer said. “We encourage all citizens to work together to raise awareness of these cancers.”

Chelsea City Hall will be illuminated with teal lights for the month of September in honor of Gynecologic Awareness Month.

During the community forum, Lisa Ripp, representing the Grace Klein Community, addressed the council with a detailed explanation of their services to the greater Birmingham community.

“We feed over 10, 000 people a week (in) Birmingham, Shelby County, and 40 surrounding counties,” said Ripp.

The Grace Klein Community is a faith-based food rescue and food distribution ministry.

According to Ripp, 40 percent of the food that’s manufactured is thrown away while it is still good.

“Last year we saved over 1.6 million pounds of food, which was worth over $2 million,” she said.

Grace Klein Community was founded in 2009 by Jenny and Jason Waltman.

“We would like for you guys to get volunteers out and businesses to come and be serve teams,” Ripp said.

The City Council also approved to accept the lowest bid for the ABC warehouse site project and to authorize a lease agreement for a copier at the Chelsea Historical Museum.

Whisper Jesus

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A dark cloud hovers over me. The darkness feels like it is always there, its goal to engulf me. Sometimes I run from it, but it chases me. Moments of light peak in and I know that light is always outside this veil of darkness. I find it maddening and wonder why the darkness works incessantly to take me out.

My hope remains, though sometimes it is dim and faint, always trusting in what can’t be seen. My soul aches as I wonder why and then my mind reminds me that it does matter why. The attacks are real and my weapon is Jesus. My mouth whispers His name over and over. He hasn’t left. He’s in the dark with me. His light overcomes the dark. But, yet He allows this attack, this seemingly never ending pain. He allows this beat down, so I take it.

When pain comes, we want it to stop. But maybe pain is really the gift, teaching us how to be desperate for Him. My lips beg Him to move, literally begging for His provision. My stack of stones go to the sky, that’s how much His faithfulness has covered us. My shame and sadness grieve my unbelief. Why does my faith waiver? My eyes have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. If only’s trap me. If only my heart would hope over anxiety. Somewhere in there, I think it does.

There is no where to go that I can escape from His presence. He remains mighty to save. He holds my tears in a bottle. He told me this world would hurt. Somehow I get through the nightmares and the mind races. Annoyance at a new level, but I fight with songs in my head and the meditation of scripture. The battle is real, I’m tired and don’t want to keep on. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, the greatest name I know.

The Bible says the joy of the Lord is my strength. Sometimes I don’t understand how that works, but I seek it anyway, trusting I will find it. My soul finds rest in God alone, so I look for Him all the day long. He is always there for the next step, so I take it. One after the other, I walk gingerly. The steps hurt, but it is better to move forward than to go backwards or sit down.

The “woe is me” has got to go. How is that helpful? The pain is here to ignite my passion. Somehow pain keeps my flame burning. And that’s why I want to run from the darkness, from the attacks of evil that chase me and lurk all around me. The darkness repulses me. Every bit of me is weak, but somehow God keeps breathing life into me, speaking truth into my heart and telling me to keep pressing on.

Attacks are real and our battles are not against flesh and blood. Oppression is heavy and chases me in the guise of a dark cloud. But, pain has purpose and over that darkness is a banner. And the banner over me is love. When we love God and are called for His purposes, He will turn everything to good. Even in the dark, I promise you it’s true. Hold on to Jesus

Into the deep water

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Calling is a deep knowing of where God has chosen each of us to plant our lives for His glory. We long to know our callings because we find our life purpose in that knowing. Many people struggle for years sorting through the stack of what they wanted for their life versus what God wants. Even confused, after realizing our life path was designed to be planned by God and not us. But, the moment we experience the place God has for us, a calm and crazy stirs in us.

A deep peace comes in knowing, “this is the way, walk.” We aren’t floundering anymore. We are out of the stagnant pond. We are moving and that moving has purpose. We are existing for something more than us.

In the “yes, let’s go for it” we don’t often acknowledge or realize the pain, challenge and difficulty that awaits our obedience. The call will impact friendships, fiscal use, hobbies, and time investment. A realization of calling is a squashing of our selfishness. It’s not about us anymore. It is for Him, from Him and about Him.

Sometimes the days seem long and the hours hurt. Lack of control is a powerful catalyst to fuel our brokenness. Our hearts know that we know that we know, this is the way. But, some days the way looks scary and thorny and unappealing and we realize we must walk a path we would never choose on our own.

Perhaps the day we wander into the briers is the day we really embrace the crazy, the day we say, “ok, Your way,” instead of the wide circle we could take to avoid the mess. Then in the middle of that jungle, we come alive, alive in a way we have never tasted life before. Why? Because we only have one way out and that’s to follow. We can’t see the end, but we know we can trust the One who leads us.

The feeling of depending on Christ and the realization that if He doesn’t help us, we are totally screwed, breathes this magnificent life into our souls. We are willing to face tears, uncertainty, trials and challenge because we get more of Him and He’s promised it all has purpose and that we can trust Him.

Somehow in a calling, we insanely trust Him. Insanely. When the numbers are negative and people hate us and no strength is left, the pursuit remains sure. He girds us up. His light is enough. His faithfulness is our shield. His love is our hope.

We wake up and find ourselves crazy in love, in love with Jesus. We can’t get enough. His Word is our food. His creation is amazing. His people are our people. His presence is our comfort. His Spirit is our guide. We’ve realized we can’t escape Him. He’s more than a love affair. We can’t stop talking about His greatness and goodness and mercy and loving kindness. Our fragile is accepted. Our sins are forgiven. Our path is perfect.

He’s not offended if we have a bad day. He chills there with us, waiting on us as He teaches us how to wait on Him. He listens to our rants and our grumbling and He doesn’t hold our humanness against us. He refines us a little more today than He did yesterday. He knows the heat we can take, more than we know it ourselves. He’s got us and He is leading us, cherishing us and ministering to us. We are consumers to His never ending grace.

Oh and the calling, it’s a series of amazing. Amazing grace to His story. We see Him in all of it and we wonder why we fight surrender. The surrender is actually where the freedom lies. We aren’t held captive, we are set free. The Bible comes alive to us. “This I know, that God is for me.” (Ps 56:9)

We begin noticing Him in the toilet paper and the peppermint mocha creamer. We delight in the almost thrown away burgers and the dinner party that ran late. We cherish the unexpected visitor and the late night listening. We can’t believe how He tells us what to pay and where to give. We know His voice. We wait for God alone. He is intimately involved in every detail of our lives. Our home is His. Our work is His. Our kids are His. Our transport is His. Our time is His. Our money is His. Our life is His.

Thank you Father for the calling on our lives. The race is hard, but the victory is clear. We will not quit. We continue forward by Your power and Your strength.

2 Corinthians 4:1 “Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.”

Good Morning

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Waking up in the morning can be scary, not knowing if the feeling that hits me will be anticipation or dread.

You are right, it’s good to be alive. another day with the people we love. More time to feel the thump in the chest and know this day is a gift. Kids have this incredible education and the learning is limitless. Our fridge and pantry have food from the heavenly storehouse. Clothing and shoes are available for the wear. If a shower is needed, the water runs hot and clean.

My spirit longs for the Spirit of God to move. Either this morning I believe it or i don’t. When my faith is weak, my pain is debilitating. When my faith is strong, my joy is unending.

Seems simple, this life of trust. Every day before we have lived His faithfulness. Why would today be different? Why would I fear? Why would “what ifs” cloud my mind and take me down wasted rabbit trails?

Thus far the Lord has helped us. We could stack stones of remembrance to the heavens. The faithfulness of God is too much to explain. He has never abandoned us or forsaken us. seriously, His track record is perfect. Mine is the one that is messy.

Doubt and fear are two of the greatest enemies to faith. They hover. They like to keep their dark clouds right over our heads, making the Light more difficult to see. sometimes we acknowledge them for who they are, look up and deny their power. Other times the sneaky deceivers get us. We believe for moments, hours or days the enemy lies. We succumb. It’s kind of like eating that big piece of chocolate cake when we are full. We know better, but we do it anyway.

And then guilt and shame show up. They are the backup enforcers to our doubt and fear. That team works pretty well together against our very souls. I don’t know about you, but I can buy the lie. All of a sudden I am worthless, broken and defeated. i can’t go on. I become convinced I am a failure with my weak faith and my wobbly trust. Why would God care about me anymore? Put me on the bench. I am done.

This beat down could last a few minutes or all day. Maybe longer. The wallow in the pit. The climb under the covers, I can’t go on, yuck. Tears want to come, but they have come so much they are used up or pushed back. What’s the point. Get over it. Receive the realization that you are a loser, you’ve got no faith, you are all used up, you’ve got nothing to contribute.

Then truth shows up, sometimes it feels like it busts through the door. The Bible says “the truth sets you free” and that’s the best description for what happens. It’s not some badger, correction or discipline conference. heck, by this time i am down, reprimanded and convicted enough. Maybe it’s better to call it a grace conference.

Chill. I am the Holy One of Israel. I am your Savior. I am King of kings and Lord of lords. I am your strength. I am your song. I am your hiding place.

“For I, The Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.'” – Isaiah 41:12

“You are my hiding place and my shield, I hope in your word.” – Psalm 119:114

As the grace and mercy of God covers us, from the truth of who He is, our spirits calm and that peace that surpasses all understanding shows up. Peace overtakes that cloud of doubt and fear. Peace covers us. Love covers us. Hope covers us.

So my mind goes to why? Why do some mornings greet me with expectation while others welcome me with despair? It doesn’t make sense the inconsistency in my life. It irritates my perfection and grieves my soul. When I know Christ, why am i wishy washy. It’s maddening and sorrowful.

But maybe it’s actually a gift. A time to cherish, deeply cherish, the good mornings. An urgency of my need to be desperate for Jesus every morning. Maybe it’s the reminder of an intense spiritual battle that wars against us. The enemy would be so delighted for any of us (or all of us) to give up. Maybe it’s to remind me the sweetness of prayer and fellowship with Jesus and constantly spending time with Him throughout the day. Maybe it’s a tap on my shoulder to remember to hide the Word, the truth, in my heart. Or maybe it’s to be relatable to the world around me. Life is no tea party and my brokenness relates to the brokenness of those around me. Maybe it is a deep secret reminder to hold on to the love of Jesus.

Why anxiety may say good morning today and peace welcomes me to a new day tomorrow remains a mystery. But whatever God wants to teach me in the extremes of joy and pain, I want to learn. He has all these amazing promises for His children. No matter how weak my faith is, I am trusting it to be as big as the tiniest mustard seed.

Jesus said in Matthew 17:20, “For truly I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

So, every night, I go to sleep with hope. Hoping for how the next day will be. Reflecting on today’s goodness. (there is always goodness somewhere in there, every day, if we look hard enough.) Trusting God will wake me up with peace, or take me through the darkness to where peace is beyond understanding. He’s guarding my heart and my mind. He’s my Protector. He fights for me.

“The hope of the righteous brings joy.” – Proverbs 10:28

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” – Psalm 130:5-6

A Rescue Mission

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Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. – CT Studd

My husband and I prayed we would live in a way that we were willing to be within a yard of hell, helping people see Jesus and be rescued by Him.  If we want people to find Jesus, it seems we have to meet them in their mess and walk with them in their brokenness. We were willing to surrender our home to be that ‘rescue shop’ if God would so use it. We were naive to think it would be easy.
Most likely, our experiences are no where close to being “within a yard of hell,” but the pain, deception and sorrow has made it feel close. Over the years, God has allowed us to see the ugly of sin, up close and personal. The fight against evil, darkness, lies, sin, self, and the world is all around us. Everyday we have a choice – will we engage, will we retreat or will be spectators?? Spectatorship being possible the worst option of all, knowing but without action.

When we were kids our respective churches taught us this song:

I may never march in the infantry
Ride in the cavalry
Shoot the artillery
I may never fly o’er the enemy
But I’m in the Lord’s army!
Yes Sir!

I’m in the Lord’s army!
Yes sir!
I’m in the Lord’s army!
Yes sir!

Maybe you have laughed and sang along with this song too, marching and pretending to ride a horse or shoot a gun or fly. The spiritual battle seemed light hearted and safe. The Lord’s army was cool. The song may have subconsciously taught me that nothing hard was going to come and He was never going to need me to march, ride, shoot or fly for His army. I don’t think I ever thought I would have to get close to the enemy. As a follower of Christ, I had enlisted and did not know the half of what faith in Jesus was going to do to my world.

Meeting Jesus when you are five years old gives you awesome child-like faith, which He wants us to have, but the hard part is not understanding ‘the hard part.’  Singing a song that is fun with motions and silliness is a whole different world than the reality of a battle.

Joel 2:11- “The Lord thunders at the head of his army; his forces are beyond number, and mighty is the army that obeys his command.”

2 Timothy 2:3-4 – “Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer.”

What does it mean to be a good soldier? We never thought about it. We lived without acknowledging the battle. We were not targets because we weren’t a threat.

A soldier is aware of the enemy and anticipates the enemy. A soldier’s mission is to protect, defend and serve. A soldier is committed; trained on the tactics of charge and retreat. A soldier believes he can and will defeat the enemy. A soldier trusts the commanding officer, follows the commanding officer, and respects the commanding officer.

1 Corinthians 16:13-14 – “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.”

Matthew 10:16 – “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

1 Timothy 6:12 – “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

A soldier “gets in the trenches” because they will sneak close to the enemy camp to protect, defend and rescue their fellow comrades or the civilians caught in the cross fire.

When we meet Jesus, we become a soldier. We enlist. We commit to always be in His army.  Our comrades are our brothers and sisters in Christ and the civilians are those who have not met Jesus yet. Some of us grow into knowing we are in a spiritual battle, with the privilege and duty of a soldier, while others of us understand from the beginning. God had to grow me into the seriousness of “running a rescue shop,” of being invested in an army, and the intensity required to train and suffer as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

We first become a threat when we understand. We become a target when we engage in sharing Christ and loving people.  Our name is added to the enemy hit list when our marching looks like we are in formation behind Jesus.

Our prayers were zealous, without understanding of what it would mean for our lives. We prayed to have the passion and obedience to “run a rescue shop within a yard of hell.” Get ready, if you are thinking of opening one.  Running a ‘rescue shop’ has kicked our tails.

Time is not ours anymore.  A rescue shop doesn’t have hours, it never closes. Phones are scripture and prayer sending devices. Resources are for shared consumption. Prayer is vital and our strongest weapon. Transport is for seeking out the lost and delivering help. Food is meant to feed. Money is for the mission. A life of service and faith in what you cannot see.

The real of a battle happens when you find yourself searching for someone in the middle of the night, dragging someone out of a bar, bailing another out of jail, crying with the broken-hearted, sharing scripture and depending on Jesus. The ‘rescue shop’ is open and you stay awake even though you are exhausted, dig into the Word with desperation and sit in the bathroom floor wondering how else can we love? The shop is open when you find yourself standing in the rain, with lightning and thunder all around you, listening to someone scream.

The ‘rescue shop’ is a complete operation of love and grace, run for Jesus, by His strength and for His glory.  The ears hear cursing and the eyes see tears.  Drunks sober on your couch and confession is safe.  God lets your heart ache, feeling the pain of sin.  Prayers fight for marriages, emotional distress and truth. The place is not despair, but hope, a “take the way out” safe haven. A ‘rescue shop’ serves coffee, a warm shower and acceptance.

Sometimes, people don’t want to be rescued. They reject Jesus right in your face. You take them to His cross and You explain love, but love is too scary or the sin too addictive and deceiving. The rescue can only happen if a person receives the offer.  No one can be forced to take grace. God may even have the ‘rescue shop’ heap the grace, but the person misses that the kindness of the Lord is to bring them to repentance. The ‘rescue shop’ workers have to keep loving anyway, working undercover for Jesus. Our love is an overflow of the love Jesus has heaped on us. All we can do is love, no matter how angry, offended or used we feel. No matter how much sleep we miss or tears we cry, love bears more and more. Love waits.

Love is Jesus and we remember it cost Him everything.  We have committed to be a good soldier and fight. May it be said of us, followers of Jesus, “they fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith.”

We cannot grow weary. We cannot give up. We cannot stop loving. For the Lord says… “I will open rivers, I will make the wilderness a pool of water, I will produce in the wilderness, I will set growth in the desert, that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it.” – Isaiah 41:17-20

Our ‘rescue shop’ is open, full of mistakes and grace, and it feels pretty close to hell. Is yours open?

Do not lose heart

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Ugh, my spirit feels crushed.

Do you ever feel like you don’t measure up? I don’t measure up. Apart from Christ, I am worth nothing. I’ve been reminded of this more than ever. Even told as much – to my face – from others.

Lately I have felt unwanted and not liked by several people. It feels yuck to know people don’t prefer me, understand me or value me.

Have you ever felt hurt by relationships?

From our wounds, the easy is to speak bad about others that speak bad about you. From our pain, the easy is to lash out in anger, to spew ugly words and be mean back. The easy is self-protection, shutting down, building walls and guarding our hearts. The easy is passive aggressive, smart remarks, woe is me and manipulation.

The easy is what my flesh wants.

God reminds me of 2 Corinthians chapter 4 and the endurance He expects from me. He does not want me to lose heart. He doesn’t want you to lose heart either.

This ministry to which I am called is from His mercy. This ministry is what He has birthed in me. He has done the work, He is only asking me to stay the course. He is reminding me “do not lose heart.”

Even when you hear from others or interpret for yourself as idiot, incompetent, worthless, and failure.

Keep renouncing disgraceful and underhanded ways. Don’t receive that negativity.

Continue to refuse to tamper with God’s word. Hold fast to truth and commend yourself in the sight of God. What the world thinks or does doesn’t matter. What matters is obedience to God.

Stay obedient in the face of adversity, ridicule and questioning. If people can’t see Jesus in us, it is only hidden from them because they don’t know Him. So give grace, piles of it. The god of the world blinds unbelievers. They can’t see the light of the gospel of the spectacular glory of Christ. They can’t see that He is the very picture of God.

What we proclaim is not us, but Jesus Christ as Lord. We exists as servants for the sake of Jesus. Our crazy is about Him and for His glory.

God said, “Let light shine out of darkness.” The light is in us, in our hearts and it gives light. God’s light in us shows we know the glory of God because of Jesus Christ. We have a hope that can’t be denied. We are shining.

The light is a treasure. Our treasure is Jesus. And we carry this treasure around in a jar of clay. Jars of clay are easily broken. Jars of clay leak. Jars of clay are not always beautiful. Jars of clay can be for common use.

When we have our treasure in a clay jar, it becomes obvious to everyone that the surpassing power in us belongs to God and not us. We still struggle.

We are afflicted in every way, but we aren’t crushed. I may feel like my soul is crushed, but it’s only afflicted.

We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We may feel the symptoms of despair, but we carry around a treasure so we cannot despair. We are hauling around life.

We are persecuted, but not forsaken. No matter what anyone says against us or to us, no matter what hateful action is done to us or what neglect we feel, our Jesus does not forsake us. He’s with us. He is our treasure.

We are struck down, but not destroyed. Our hearts ache, we find ourselves in the fetal position, we mourn and grieve, we feel beat on and abandoned, but nothing destroys us.

In our jars we are carrying around the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus is apparent in us. Every day we live we are dying to ourselves for the sake of Jesus, so the life of Jesus can be lived out through our very human flesh. Isn’t it insanely beautiful that our daily dying that is working in us is giving the life of Jesus to others?!

Faith. God give me more. If I believe you, then I will speak and be a useful vessel for Your glory. My heart believes Jesus died for me, Jesus has forgiven me of my sins, Jesus loves me and one day I will be raised to be with Him. I can’t wait for that day.

My aching, my hurt, my sadness, my inadequacies are for the sake of Jesus. All of it for Jesus… the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. My pain counts. My joy counts. My prayers. My heaviness. My weariness. My brokenness. My battles. My laughter. My tears.

The more grace that can be extended the more thanksgiving will increase. As grace goes forth to more and more people, I will praise Jesus more, thank Him more, celebrate Him more. The grace giving is for His glory.

So, here we are, reminded we must not, can not, utterly refuse to lose heart. Our flesh is slowly dying every day. The grey hair, aching joints, sleepless nights are evidence of our aging. We look in the mirror and realize this aging, or dying, is legit.

Wait. With every day of dying, I realize I’m living more.  My inner self is renewing day to day. Every day, I am looking a bit more like Jesus. Maybe it’s tiny and the world cannot see it, but Jesus can see. He sees my heart is softer, more malleable, more open to His work. He sees my letting go and my brokenness and He is seeing a little of the Jesus He is ever so slowly transplanting into me. He is perfecting me. He is making me more alive every day. My body is dying, but I’ve never felt more alive in Jesus.

The feeling of rejection, neglect, criticism and abuse is temporary. Our darkest wounds are light and momentary afflictions. The glory He is preparing for us is beyond any and all comparison. Hallelujah this world is not my home and so I can strain and squint my eyes and get a glimpse of what is coming.

We make a choice to look past what we can see, to the things we can’t see and we run to the unseen because we know that we know that we know that it is infinitely better.

What we cannot see is what will last forever and the forever is what I am living for. So, we must let loose the things that want to entangle and break our spirit, and hold on to what is true. We must remember and come feast in His word and learn over and over again that we live under the mercy of God. Because of Jesus and the treasure we have, the dying is teaching us how to live. In our grace and faith living, eternity beckons us home.

so blessed

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you are so blessed. so blessed to have a job that paid you six figures last year. so blessed to be a character in a movie. so blessed to go to disney. so blessed to take your kids to a pool to go swimming. so blessed with a house that has more than ten rooms. so blessed to vacation. so blessed to drive a brand new car. so blessed that your looking younger instead of older. so blessed to rest. so blessed with a new house. so blessed to get that new flowing top that looks amazing with those pants. so blessed to redecorate your house. so blessed to workout. so blessed to have everything.

in the last week, a variety of my friends defined being “so blessed” with pictures and those supporting comments. look at any social media site, and mostly we will celebrate the blessings of stuff, indulgence, selfishness, money, whatever God gave to make life easier. but is that blessed? maybe we are using the wrong word.

finding myself curious, i looked up the word blessed, in the dictionary, to find some of these definitions: made holy, consecrated, those who live with God, having a sacred nature, connected with God, very pleasant, welcome or appreciated, held in reverence, honored in worship, worthy of adoration, reverence or worship, divinely or supremely favored, blissfully happy or contented, thankfulness, to protect from evil, worthy of worship, revered, bringing contentment, etc.

synonyms of blessed are exalted, hallowed, glorified, magnified, beauty, adored, divine, redeemed, resurrected, rewarded, saved, among the Angels, holy, delightful, pleasing, satisfying, grateful, gratifying, etc.

Jesus teaches us what blessed is in Matthew 5….

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you,persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

if blessed is more me time, more stuff, more money, then how does that leave the rest of the world? what are the stats now? maybe 80% of the world live on close to nothing or a little more or a little less. are we saying the majority of the world isn’t blessed? am i not blessed if i don’t have cable, my kids don’t attend private school, my car’s engine light is on and we eat expired food? does it mean ‘not blessed’ to make little money, struggle with anxiety and be a harvester of free fun.

surely, my perceived worldly lack does not define me as “not blessed.”

Jesus teaches us the better way…

Blessed are those who are poor in spirit.  We are blessed if we know our absolute need for Jesus. We are blessed when we admit our deep spiritual poverty and our complete inadequacy to do this life without Jesus. We find our completeness in Jesus and the Kingdom of heaven is ours!

we still owe money for our house. my jeans have holes in the knees. the car has just enough fuel. some of the excess is gone. but, oh how blessed we are because He is enough. we know our need for Him and we are a big broken mess without Him. we are not in control and we need Him to light our way. we survive and in that we thrive. we are blessed.

Blessed are those who mourn. We are blessed to face hardship, loss, despair, pain and tears. We are promised trouble and reminded Jesus overcame the world. Our sorrow brings us close to Jesus, teaching us to share in His sufferings. And He meets us and we are comforted. Blessed is knowing comfort.

a friend needs a job, another’s work computer crashed, my friend’s mom needs food, a friend’s daughter is pregnant out of wedlock, bedbugs have invaded multiple apartments and friends have lost everything, a little girl got raped, our missionary friends battle for visa renewals, another friend’s dad has weeks to live, a little boy is so sick and awaits surgery, a mom sleeps in a chair at the hospital, a new friend feels lost and without purpose, another’s AC unit is on the blink, someone i know committed suicide, other missionaries will visit soon for a respite, another friend is recently divorced, a friend battles with health, another fights for life after a horrible car accident, my friend’s grandson is in trouble, my friend’s checks keep bouncing because they never have enough, another kid has recently been diagnosed with dyslexia, a lady i know needs a car and a place to sleep, a boy is running a fever and another battles nightmares. the sorrow around me goes on and on and on. and then the brokenness of our sin – the addictions, lying, back biting, anger, worry, fear, hostility, bitterness, self-seeking mess. we are filled with sorrow. this list is a drop in the ocean to the pain this world knows. every person i know battles something every day. we are all acquainted with trouble. we are blessed when we mourn, for we will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, the quiet, the gentle, the easily imposed upon, the submissive. The meek are those that do not want to fight with people, a calm person, strength under control. Meekness lays down our own way for the sake of obedience to Jesus.

my first thought of a meek man is a former Bible teacher. he prepared the lessons and presented from a place of humility. he confronted the truth boldly, but with love. when he jumbled his words or felt as if his response was not understanding or from his flesh, he called, or stood before the group, and apologized for his humanity. he was always strength under control, facing difficulty with prayer and reliance on Jesus. he willing sacrificed for the sake of obedience. his life teaches meekness and he will inherit the earth.

What about those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. They are the saints of God that want Him more than they want anything. Of course they are blessed. The satisfaction of experiencing the effects of righteousness is greater than any material possession or indulgence.

what irony that the world knows and loves mother teresa, but many would not dare emulate her way of life. most of us do not want to live in calcutta, to live without possessions, to eat what the poor eat, to experience poverty, to touch diseased people. but we want her hunger and thirst for righteous and her satisfaction in Jesus?

Blessed are we when we want to be right with God, when we hunger to be with him, when we thirst to look like him, when our lives begin to mimic Jesus. Now that is blessed and we are satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, when we forgive quickly, when it’s our glory to overlook an offense, to be kind, tender hearted, compassionate and generous. Often the merciful put aside themselves, their feelings, their agendas, to bend to the needs of others. Mercy looks like Jesus as He gave us the most mercy when He died for us to forgive us of our sin. Mercy is not because we deserve it, but a gift of love and tenderness.

blessed are we when we are merciful, because we will then receive mercy. when we forgive, we will be forgiven. when we give compassion, we will receive compassion. when we put ourselves aside, we will receive grace and more. mercy is letting the customer pay late and then receiving mercy from the vendor you in turn owe. mercy is forgiving the child for the spilled milk as we received the forgiveness of God when we yell our children. mercy is grace on steroids, grace overflowing, grace undeserving. oh, that is blessed.

Now consider the pure in heart. What does that mean? A pure heart is a complete vulnerability and exposure to who we are, here’s our brokenness, our failures, our dependence. We know our weaknesses so we are not hateful, judgmental or bitter. We long to please God, more than anything, to come clean before Him. We are aware of our sin, we are repentant of our sin and willing to confess our sins trusting Him to purify us and heal us from unrighteousness. The pure in heart give up their lives to truly find abundant life. Blessed are the pure in heart because they will see God.

And the peacemakers. They are always the truth tellers, knowing how to speak with love. Peacemakers bring unity and delight into the hearts of the shattered. Peacemakers see the path to the reconciliation and can lead others to its safety. Blessed are the peacemakers because they are sons of God.

remember the two mama’s fighting over the baby and the judge was a peacemaker, a solution finder. he told them to cut the baby in half and the real mom said, “let her have the baby.” the peacemaker knew how to get to the truth and to bring peace to a chaotic situation. then, the real mother was awarded her baby.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake. Martyrs of the faith, the child who is left out or taunted for believing in Jesus, the family who is laughed at for following the way of Jesus. The kingdom of heaven is for the persecuted.

Blessed are the ones who receive criticism, condemnation, insult, or attack. The reward is great in heaven for those who suffer from the false accusations of others. Blessed are you when people speak behind your back, when they mock your obedience to Christ, and when they speak evil against you.

we are saying “so blessed” for things that bring ease, temporary comfort, status, position, power, influence, entertainment and distraction. all so temporary, used up, fleeting, deteriorating, and spent.

But Jesus is saying …
Blessed is poor in spirit.
Blessed is mourning.
Blessed is meekness.
Blessed is a hunger and thirst for righteousness.
Blessed is pure in heart.
Blessed is peacemaker.
Blessed is persecution.
Blessed is insult.

And here’s what is ours …
The Kingdom of Heaven
Comfort
Inheritors of the earth
Filled with righteousness
Mercy
You will see God
You are called children of God
The Kingdom of Heaven (must be really good because mentioned twice)
Great is your reward in heaven!

Let’s learn the way of Jesus and become blessed.