When i THINK of God’s amazing history in my life, i cry at His faithfulness. Steady, amazing, last second, wows. My heart feels courage and hope and expectation, eager for His next care for us.
But, the last two days, i have struggled to THINK. The days have been too full, moments with Jesus in the car, in meetings, in schooling, in exhaustion. My body has felt paralyzed in my weakness. i’m weak, so unbelievably weak. i can’t do this life.
How does God choose our callings? Mine doesn’t make sense to me. But, yet He has chosen me, placed specific, unexplainable challenges on my life and it’s something i have to do. It’s hard to explain.
i’m inept, but equipped by Him. i’m shy, but bold through Him. i’m fearful, but faith filled in Him. Nothing about it makes sense to me.
My inadequacies glare at me, but He beckons me forward. THINK about Him, not me. THINK on His plan, not mine. THINK of His provisions, not my control.
When i THINK i feel free. But when i let my flesh freak out, i shake, turn red and my body is tense all over. When people interact with me in my crazy, some may notice, others may think i am just tired, others may be oblivious to my madness. In the confusion, my mind is a million miles away thinking through the “what-ifs,” analyzing solutions, fearing the unknown. It’s ridiculous and i am captive, trapped and worthless for His glory.
People keep coming towards me. The relationships don’t stop. People need. People talk. People touch. i find myself in sensory overload. If only i was invisible.
But i’m not.
My flesh wants to run, to hide under a blanket, to hibernate. i get tired of my phone, emails, noise. My whiny attitude says, “why me?”
The Spirit whispers to me, “why not you?”
Remember to THINK about what’s true. THINK of what is honorable. THINK justice. THINK on purity. THINK love. THINK on commendable things. THINK on excellence. THINK on what’s praise worthy.
What makes me praise Jesus? That’s where my thoughts should be. What’s praise worthy is where beauty lives. What’s worthy of praise ushers me into joy and peace and hope.
What’s true today?
i am loved by God.
i have value. He wants me!
my family is awesome.
plenty of people love me.
we have shelter, clothing, food.
my tennis shoes are even cute.
What’s honorable?
Jesus is steady, never leaving or forsaking me. He covers me in His truth.
The Bible is true.
my kids are honest, growing in integrity.
Just?
i really struggle with this one! life doesn’t feel just. One of my close friends lost her father and her father-in-law on the same weekend. Another one of my friends fights cancer. Others fight to survive in poverty. Another is heartbroken and fragile. Another lonely and isolated. We need work, others need healing. Life doesn’t feel fair. Life isn’t fair.
BUT GOD. He is just. He’s more than just. i should be destined for hell, but Jesus died for me and He is my Savior and Lord. i am destined for heaven. He’s impartial. He loves us past our junk, past our failures, our inadequacies, our inconsistencies.
BUT GOD. He gives us entirely, exactly, precisely, just what we need. Always. This week we were using napkins for toilet paper and then we found two more packs of toilet paper in the bathroom cabinet. This week we had a half of cup of sugar left and He gave us a four pound bag. We ran out of milk and He provided not one, but two gallons. My son needed pants and He provided three pair.
BUT GOD. He does what is right, always. He is impartial and non-discriminatory. He sent His son for the rich, the poor, the nice, the mean, the gentle, the abrasive, the quiet, the chatterbox, the fat, the skinny. He loves each of us and He created all of us. He is more than fair even when our circumstances don’t feel fair.
What’s pure today?
Jesus is so perfect, with no ulterior motives.
my husband protects our union.
my little girl fights for the purity of her mind.
What about love?
Jesus’ perfect love drives out fear.
Jesus’ love is forever, never ending, faithful.
my friend sits quietly and listens.
my friends stop by to check on me.
more than anything, my friends pray for me.
love is laying down our lives for our friends as Jesus laid down His life for us.
Commendable?
Jesus is commendable. He is worth of all my affections, shout outs, rejoicing, worship, accolades, reflections, story telling, and admiration. My Jesus is creditable. He does what He says He will do. He is faithful.
my kids did their school work with excellence and without grumbling and complaining.
my co-worker planned ahead and a volunteer day went smoothly.
What’s excellence?
Jesus is superior, perfect, outstanding, worthy, good. He is everything and more.
Worthy of praise?
my Father. my King. my Protector. my Deliverer. my Strong Tower. my Friend. my Hope. my Comforter. my Provider. my Listener. my Encourager. my Steady Faithful. my Joy. All my praise to JESUS.
Anything we have, anything we accomplish, anything we live for, anything we adore, anything that is good, is from JESUS.
If we would be intentional to THINK, we wouldn’t get lost in our freak outs, our despair, the what-if’s, our fears, our anxiety. To THINK is to be at peace.
THINKing sets us free as we focus our thoughts and affections back to what matters… Truth, Honor, Justice, Purity, Love, Commendation, Excellence and Praise.
Come along with me. Practice THINKing and the God of peace will be with us.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” – Philippians 4:8-9
